no title

Poem by anonymous

It will only go wrong if it’s going alright

the carpet has been torn out from underneath

how far I’ve fallen

or has it always been this way?

maybe from the beginning I’ve been stumbling

just too lazy to fix the bumps in the carpet

too lazy to smooth out, to recorrect

this dizzy path that spirals out awry

glaring into the horizon

muttering soft little what ifs

I feel a face in my hands, it cries softly, like a child afraid to grow up

why now, why me

how cruel, how honestly will this world repeat

a gentle reminder into the winds that rush by my ears

repeating my thoughts like a soft whisper:

what if I did that instead

stepped back instead of forward

maybe if I had gone the other way

turned my head away, pretended I didn’t see

or maybe I did see and should have accepted it as truth

and tried to move on tried to change

I was a child so I murdered my youth

tore myself apart all ignorant

called myself blind because I didn’t know what it meant to see

I didn’t know, how could I have known

how how how

please tell me

this unfair reality traps me inside

I’m sinking I’m sinking

I don’t see it, I didn’t do it

but it’s in front of me there’s nowhere else to go

no endpoint, no destination

just reality blocking the right way

I have to accept it I have to

the once vibrant sunset is drowned out by rain

all gray and dreary

rain rain go away come again another day

the rain can’t hear me

so it piles up

until it’s far too late to go inside

too late to turn around and go home

too late to change shoes, change clothes, grab an umbrella

too late to regret

there’s a little puddle on the ground

my reflection gazes solemnly back to me

begging me for help

maybe I could have helped if you had just asked a little earlier

there’s nothing I can do now I hate being unable to do anything

so I’ll keep walking, I’ll accept it

all while muttering under my sour breath

into the frigid air, while my legs protest in fatigue

and my teeth chatter, my soaked clothing making me so cold

and my fingers wrinkle all damp

“It shouldn’t have been this way”